Posted by: thaufler | August 3, 2010

Evan was not mine, he was God’s…

So, how am I to process the recent events? Are these things ordered by a sovereign God whose purposes are not yet fully revealed?

Was the exquisite pain, hopelessness and bewilderment we have experienced these last few weeks ordered by the hand of an infinitely loving and perfect God, or was He trumped by Satan? Does Satan have more power than Him in this case… as a child of God this offers me no comfort.

…or did Satan rule here because God was simply waiting for me to have enough faith to believe for the great miracle of healing for our boy… perhaps I needed to have more faith than the Apostle Paul (2 Cor 12:7-10), …again this too offers me very little comfort.

Is it a Biblical principle that God grants gifts to those who have some special ability; some inherent goodness? If that were true then would His gifts be considered grace, or instead would they be considered our just payment for moral excellence, great faith, or refraining from speaking the wrong things? Are we truly that powerful? Is God a tool in my hand that I can wield as I wish or am I a tool in His hand… which is it? Doesn’t He exercise the right to hurl me into the world like a sickle to make His glory known by whatever means…

Was Job’s calamities due to his speaking the wrong things or not having enough faith, or did his inherent goodness (more than I am ever likely to know) prevent the calamities? Who’s in charge here, me or God???

Almost every New Testament saint endured unrelenting trials and eventually painful deaths, why should I consider myself exempt from these things? I cut my teeth on a King James Bible my mother bought for me over 20 years ago, and now prefer the New King James, if you have one at home you love… pick it up. The man who penned 90% of the text and helped shape the english language lived a life with one goal, that the common man would have the Bible and be able to read it in his own language. How is he repaid for his faithfulness… strangled and then burned at the stake (He was shown the mercy of enstranglement because he was an ordained priest). Does he see his dream realized… no. Am I entitled to some special grace that he was not that ensures a life of ease, or does God reserve the right to squeeze me like a grape if it produces the wine of glory for His name?

I must believe that this was ordered by God and in Him I will trust, I have no alternative. The exquisite pain we’ve endured, that we haven’t shared and will not publicly, has been met by the most exquisite love of God, and is doing a work greater than would’ve ever been possible otherwise… a work who’s fruit we may never see this side of heaven. Romans 8:28 sums up it up beautifully, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” …and I do not reserve the right to define what the “good” is here, that right belongs to God alone, and that is my worldview.

So what do I do… stop praying and say what will be will be! Absolutely Not!!! What is the end saint, what is our glorious end??? It’s the knowledge of God through a suffering Saviour… He is our glorious end! Prayer is a means of achieving this glorious end, it is absolutely essential and this has driven us to our knees in search of Him, I never stopped believing for a miracle in our child’s life, but Evan was not mine… he was and is God’s.

If this troubles you then perhaps your Christianity is not Christian enough and you have fallen prey to a perversion of the truth that could only thrive here in America and is not historical… the high watermarks of our precious faith happened during times of extraordinary persecution, not when the saints lived lives of ease.

1 Corinthians 1:22-25 “For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”

What did the Apostle Paul give them? Neither a sign nor wisdom… to chase after healing or wealth is a distraction from the purpose of Christ’s coming. Faith is not a force with your words or attitudes it’s carrier, it is an empty cup placed in the soul of man by God himself… a gift, it has one purpose and that’s to point us to Christ. Faith without the promise of God (which is what God fills the cup with) is nothing; you cannot have faith in faith, and what does all of scripture point to… Jesus Christ, the promised Messiah. Everything that happens to you this side of heaven is designed to point you or others to Him.



  1. Lord have mercy, Tim. You have said it all. There are no words I can send that you have not said. I love you son. May our loving God have mercy on us all


  2. Amen brother, amen.

  3. We prayed for Evan, for his healing and God was merciful and listened to the cries of the saints, He listened and went far beyond many of our limited requests, for Evan is healed to perfection, stripped of the illness of any sin.

    Would anyone really want it any different from Evans perspective?

    As it is written: For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (Php. 1:21)

    The tougher part is to deal with the situation from the side of the left behind, that’s where I see the greater dangers.

    Evan is in God’s bosom, and the forces of darkness can in no way reach him. Satan’s attacks will without doubt be reinforced; the temptations will rise in numbers and force, upon those whom are under the weather from sorrow, confusion and disappointments.

    How important it is to be equipped, how wonderful it is God is equipping His saints (Eph. 4:12), both for the tried ones and the supporting ones. We have been given first row, to witness the fruits of His marvelous works.

    We need not to doubt His love, we need not to question His selection of actions, we need to question our understanding for we a limited, very limited.

    Alicia, Tim, Carrie and Nick, have all been equipped to the level of God’s desire, and we, as bystanders have been equipped for our “job”, to mourn for a while and intensify our prayers for strength and wisdom, but also to as “outsiders” keep an open eye and ear for signs of tiredness and weakness where we can step in for support and encouragement.

    God has set it all up, God’s plan will come to pass, our focus must be to bring glory to Him, in whatever situation we may be in. (1Co 10:31)

    What is the chief end of man?
    Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

    Rejoice, for God has shown a glimpse of His glory through the testimony of the Hauflers

  4. I think of the things that God’s word calls me to meditate on when my thoughts get morbid or doubtful. I think of verses that call me to overcome and what an overcomer’s reward is. In Evan’s 5 tiny years, look we he overcame…sickness,deformatey, rejection, poverty, then look at that sweet radiant face with his infectous smile, it was the complete opposite of what he was enduring….at only 5!!! Granted, he was not as aware of his situation as an adult would be, but can we learn from this? Can we see the tremendous work of God’s grace and mercy? I believe so emfaticaly! That child like faith is what we are called to have, at the very least. Not caught up in all the details of a troubled situation, but what I am and who I am in Christ. Tim and Alicia, no one will ever truley know the depth of your pain, but God knew before hand, he knew in the midst of it, he knows now and knows what will be. Tim, you’ve asked us all a tough question only to give us the right answer, which can only be found in the word and through your belief. You know what is right. You both are proof of it. You have given Pat and I tremendous encouragement for what we are going through. Blessing, peace and grace to you and your family.

  5. You will see Evan in a better place.

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